I've lived in Las Vegas for about five months now. Five?? There are some days when I feel like I've been here forever, but I have more days when I feel like I'm living amongst and working with people I don't know. Nate of course doesn't fall into this category, but hopefully you get what I mean. To help me stay sane during the work day, I've taken to eating lunch in my car. The temperature will allow me to get away with this for now...I know it won't last, but in the meantime I've been very grateful for the escape. While I eat, I read; and I've made it through a few books. I recently finished one, and close to the end of the book, I read a paragraph I've been thinking about a lot:
"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, I told him, you'll not only miss the people you love, but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way again".*
I think my problem is I assume I will stay the same person; that I could go right back into an old situation and feel right at home. While I know that is of course not true, that is normally what I tell myself when I leave somewhere or something, just as a way of coping.
We've fallen into a lot of wonderful things out here, but many moments still carry a sting, because I can't help but compare them to either my life in Utah or Ohio; mostly Ohio, honestly. I miss the friends I could've only made in Toledo, as well as friends I was able to "follow" out there and hang on to. Las Vegas is becoming our home, but as it happens, I am often reminded of what home has meant in other places.
Just had to get that out.
*Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azir Nafisi
1 comment:
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. After many moves I can say that I've always been anxious to move on, but often I still find myself "homesick" for a piece of each place (& phase) I've lived.
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